Life With Misophonia
September 16, 2016
Reframing Webinar
October 4, 2016

Married to a Misophone

Here are some comments from a man whose wife has misophonia.
First off, my wife is awesome. We click in some many different ways but we are also different in other that so we believe we have a really great relationship.
We both are on our second marriage and well into our 40s so all the drama and nonsense is well behind us. We say what we feel but at the same time we try not to say it so to hurt the other person.
Act 2: Misophonia comes in. About a year ago she finally learned that all the symptoms she has been experiencing are related to misophonia and ever since she has researched not only how this started but how to, if not cure, at least cope with it. I feel I have learned a lot too as she shares with me most of the information she finds, which makes it a bit easier fore me to understand it. A bit.
However, there are times I feel I don’t want to sit at the table with her because I know that my ‘loud’ chewing or even the reflex of secreting and swallowing saliva will set her off. Sometimes she asks to turn on the radio or the TV while we eat together. This works sometimes, sometimes does not.
We have a small dog who is getting old. At dinner time he undoubtedly will make this [what she calls] quail noise, which to me most of the times is inaudible, but that drives her insane. Other times our dog would just lick himself and that sound just drives her mad.
So at times it is really hard to deal with her misophonia. Other times I understand her because, and maybe I suffer a mild case of it as well, there is a large woman at work who breaths very, and I mean >>very<< loud. To the point I just have to put my earphones and crank some music so I don’t get distracted.
I don’t know how much of this is useful to everyone, or if it is at all. I just know that sometimes I suffer with my wife. Definitely not at the same level as she does, but to the point that I make myself watch (or hear) how loud I chew so she does not stab me in the eye with her fork while having dinner. Of course that is just a joke but I hope that gives you an idea how I feel about her misophonia.
From what she has told me her case is not so severe. She has told me she has read about other people that just completely isolate themselves because they have thoughts of ripping the other person’s face in order to stop the sound. I am not sure how I would handle that if her case was that bad.

4 Comments

  1. TT says:

    Sorry to hear that, I am currently in development of an application that will hopefully alleviate noise by using a set of earplugs and an easy acquired commodity (cellphone) to create filter for certain sounds. I’l keep you post on the experiment

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